The Way-out-there files
by Gobbiliegoop
Summary: A not so typical x-file


Mulder and Scully stand over the two-day-old corpse. They examine the body, while the local authorities secure the alley. A Common bubble-gum wrapper is found meters away from the body by Mulder, who is intrigued by its discovery. Scully turns to Mulder and says, " Its obvious what happened here…" She is stopped in mid-sentence as the cadaver is wheeled away.  
  
"I see it too Scully," Mulder replies "The mysterious deaths, the size two Nike sneaker print we found in that well walked path and the sweet wrappers found here and outside my car door. All of these this points to a government conspiracy, which involves the brainwashing of local children and using them to divert the attention given to the resent UFO sightings in this area, by murdering innocent bystanders."  
Scully stares at her cell phone, wondering if she should call the asylum and reserve Mulder a room. But before she can remember the number Mulder points to the street corner where a stranger is waiting for them.  
  
The man, who identifies himself as NFM (No Face Man), tells both agents that Mulder is getting too close to the truth and will be watched carefully. Scully asks herself if she should make two bookings at the loonybin.  
  
Suddenly a bright light blinds them from above. Mulder shouts out to Scully, "It's a UFO Scully! A real UFO!" Scully looks up to see what's happening "Its okay Mulder. It's only the street lights being turned on." Mulder comes out of his trance and realizes that NFM is gone (dumdum dum).  
  
  
Outside his motel room, Mulder is confronted by NFM. He tells Mulder everything he suspected "The government has been putting a hallucinogenic chemical into bubble gum tattoo's. This makes a person believe that everyone they see is a monster."   
"Like the boogie-man or the closet monster."  
"No even worse… Barney! The person usually, as you would expect, kills the Barney look alike. The project was code-named BWLK (Brain Washing Little Kiddies). BWLK was being used to distract the publics' attention from the UFO landings at a nearby secret military base. You must go to this base and stop the experiments being done there."  
  
Before Mulder can say anything NFM leaves mysteriously. Mulder phones Scully at the morgue and repeats the message (which is totally out of character for him, seeing as he always leaves without telling her anything). They decide to meet at the base in an hour. As Scully puts down the phone, she is knocked out by an unseen 'force'.  
  
  
Later at the base Mulder waits for Scully (don't ask me how they know where it is, they just do). He looks at his watch; she is an hour late. What could be keeping her? Maybe she was in an accident. Could she be hurt? I like cookies. I wonder if Scully has any black lingerie. Mulders thoughts are interrupted when a strange car comes up the dirt road. Mulders hand moves towards his gun. The car pulls up to him; darkness blankets the person inside. The door slowly opens. Someone steps out. Its Scully.  
"You had me worried there," Mulder moves his hand away from the gun-holster "What's with the car?"  
"My rental car broke down, so I had it replaced."  
  
The two agents enter the base though a hole in the fencing and head for the warehouse. In one of the bunkers they find crates of fudge and Frisbees.   
"Must be planning a party." Jokes Mulder.  
In the next hanger there are bottled hands, feet and other horrible body parts, that the network censors would no agree with being mentioned.  
"This is it." Mulder says in an excited voice, "If we split up, we might find what we're looking for quicker."  
"And what are we looking for Mulder?"  
"Damned if I know. Shady characters don't always tell you everything you want to know. But I think they call them 'clues'." Mulder points to a dark office in the corner. " I'll go see if there are any 'clues' in there."  
  
Inside Mulder searches in file cabinets for 'clues' that might help them. He is suddenly jumped from behind. After a long and expensive trash-the-furniture fight, Mulder pins down his attacker, who turns out to be NFM.  
Mulder realizes he has blood on his hands. NFM has been shoot in the head; the sound of the bullet must have been muffled by their struggle. Mulder looks up to see Scully with her raised and a trail of smoke leading from it.  
A cupboard door behind her swings open. Mulder sees another Scully tied and gagged in the cupboard. Two Scullys? Mulder looks at the Scully holding the gun and shouts "Barney!"  
The impostors face morphs into its true form "Heyyuk yuk yuk. Well done agent Mulder. It looks like you've found me out," He replies in his goofy voice "But you can't stop me and my kind from ruling the world."  
  
Mulder unties Scully who is abit out of it "What's happening Mulder?"  
"The UFO sightings were real Scully. The aliens were introducing the chemicals into the bubble gum tattoos to influence the younger generation into liking them more, later making them their slaves. But the children could not stand seeing Barney, which is the aliens true form, all the time. They soon went insane and killed the Barney look alikes."  
  
"Right again agent Mulder, but now its time for you to go, you will not stop our plans. The rest of my people will come. Heyyuk yuk yuk!"  
The roof caves in from above and crashes down on Barney, killing him before he can shoot. A figure cloaked in red and blue emerges from the rubble.  
"You'll be okay now," Says Superman "But don't think this will happen again."  
Mulder and Scully stand dumb struck as Superman flies away.  
"Was that… it couldn't have been" mumbles Mulder  
"I don't give a shit Mulder! I just wanna get out of here."  
  
"I guess we could hand in our report to Skinner so that it will be lost with our other casefiles. Or we could phone CNN, tell them to come up here and expose Barney so the whole world will know the truth."  
Mulder and Scully look up to the sound of laughter. Barney is outside being beamed up into a UFO  
"Heyyak yak yak! I'll be back you two, you'll see. I'll be back!"  
The UFO takes off into the clouds   
"Aagh nuts! I gotta remember to handcuff the unexplained phenomenon next time." Says Mulder  
  
And so the Barney Aliens cover was blown and all the children of the world were able to sleep peacefully, thanks to Mulder and Scully.  
  
  
  



End file.
